The "Top Secret" Way to Raise $500M—Fast

Classified-documents thief Trump has been found liable for a violent sexual assault and guilty of running a fraudulent University, charity and business. Now he needs $500M in cash—fast.

The "Top Secret" Way to Raise $500M—Fast

The reality show we're living in has truly jumped the shark.

In season one, we watched "the party of business" embrace a known con artist and fraudster as its nominee for President, only to see its "family values" credentials evaporate when the notorious, twice-divorced adulterer was caught on tape admitting to being a serial sexual predator who enjoyed physically assaulting women just because he could. While various season two revelations involving Trump's criminal associates, Russian spies and troll farms, and Facebook psy ops were artfully foreshadowed for those playing close attention, season one ended with a gut-wrenching twist as FBI director James Comey dealt the final blow to Hillary "The Most Qualified Candidate in History" Clinton's previously assured victory by revealing she had sent emails from her home computer.

Season two unfolded exactly as Hillary "Was Right About Everything" Clinton had predicted. Trump screwed US allies, filled his coffers with emoluments, signed illegal hush-money checks from inside the Oval Office, obstructed the Special Counsel investigation into how he cheated in 2016, watched many of his buddies (and his personal lawyer) go to prison, stole from the poor to give to the rich, bankrupted farmers, pushed manufacturing into a recession, and sent the national debt soaring until, after three years in office, the Obama-Biden recovery finally fizzled out. When Covid came, Trump's reckless, corrupt, and idiotic response to the crisis caused hundreds of thousands of Americans to die needlessly—and keep dying by the hundreds of thousands in a "MAGA Massacre" that continued long after vaccines were widely available. Trump's disastrous Covid response crashed the economy in a history-making fashion, covering up all his previous economic missteps. But the death and despair of 2020 also led to a massive popular vote victory for Joe Biden that was big enough to overcome all of Trump's shenanigans and criminal actions in the few states that actually make a difference in the Electoral College. America celebrated bigly. But the season finale had one more twist. The humiliated, defeated Trump incited hordes of armed, shit-smearing MAGA cultists to invade the US Capitol in a last-gasp effort to "Make America Great Again" by destroying everything that America had once stood for.

Will Justice Ever Be Done?

Throughout season three we’ve been waiting for Trump to get his comeuppance. We watched hundreds of insurrectionists go to prison for their part in the "Hang Mike Pence" invasion of the Capitol. The idea that Trump would somehow escape scot-free has been hanging in the air. Trump's second impeachment, while endorsed by majority of the Senate, did not count as a conviction. The delays in prosecuting this corrupt, authoritarian-loving traitor became even nation-threatening when we discovered he had also stolen boxes of classified documents, refused to give them back when asked, and then gone to great, lock-changing, room-flooding lengths to hide them. We wouldn't be surprised if a few were even buried on his golf course with his first wife Ivana, who (maybe) died after she fell down a spiral staircase holding a cup of coffee, but without spilling a drop until she hit the bottom. There was finally some measure of accountability when E. Jean Carroll secured a jury verdict that found Trump liable for a violent sexual assault on her in the 1990s. The subsequent $83.3 million defamation judgment that Carroll won proved that the system, to some extent, could still work. Meanwhile, Trump has been fighting to delay the trials for the multiple crimes he committed before, during, and after he ascended to the presidency.

Crucial to the season three plotline is the Republican Party's continued descent into the sewers of perversion, corruption and treachery against the United States and its allies. After known-sex trafficker and rapist Matt Gaetz was able to engineer the downfall of former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, a new Trump-controlled, Putin-friendly Speaker, "MAGA Mike" Johnson has been installed to do Trump's and Putin’s bidding in the lead-up to the 2024 election.

Now, just as Judge Engoron brought a $454-million hammer down on Trump for his decades of business fraud, bringing the total judgments against him already in 2024 to more than half a billion dollars, the criminal traitor Trump is proving that his hold on "MAGA Mike" and the Republican Party is stronger than ever. He's ousted Ronna McDaniel at the RNC (and endorsed his charity-defrauding daughter-in-law Lara as co-chair). He's blocked bipartisan action at the border. And he is literally holding up aid to Ukraine at a time when Putin is seeking the upper hand in a war that has already dragged on for two years.

The very week that Trump, Tucker Carlson, and the House GOP all demonstrated their willingness to embolden Putin, abandon Ukraine, and threaten the NATO alliance, the Russian leader has apparently killed his main political opponent, 47 year old Alexei Navalny, in a prison in the Arctic Circle.

With $500 million+ in fines he might soon have to pay, Trump is still sitting on an unknown quantity of classified documents that may prove valuable to many of the people who have previously funded his criminal family business, including Russia, China, and the butcher of Saudi Arabia.

As season three draws to a close, The psychopath Trump is once again cornered, desperate, and hell-bent on taking all of America hostage, so that he himself won’t die in prison.

Where are the documents? Will Trump "magically" raise the money to pay more than $500 million in fines without selling any assets? Will the mystery of why Ivana's coffin was so heavy ever be solved? On whose yacht will Clarence Thomas spend his summer? How many Trump trials will happen before the election? Will our next President be inaugurated in a prison cell? Or is this the year the Trump Show finally gets cancelled?

Stay tuned for the big finale. Coming this November.


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